Re writing my question since those that answered believed I was an unemployed couch potatoe?

Whoa! Take a deep breath. Relax. It sounds like you both had a baby & took on a bunch of responsibility before you were ready. It is obvious because he is going out & getting drunk all the time & you are trying to control everything. I think if you decide to see a therapist, you should both go together, otherwise it's not going to help your marriage...its going to split you further apart. Would you consider taking a vacation (away from the rest of the family) to reconnect with him? I know it's hard, but try putting yourself in his shoes & understanding why he is acting like this. Also, try to think of all the things you love about him. Try treating him like the man of the family & maybe he'll start acting like it. It sounds like you get upset & try controlling everything so you've taken away some of his maculinity, if that makes sense. If you just can't see yourself doing any of this, then maybe you should cut your losses & move on. Keep him in your babies life, but move on to a relationship that you will feel good in.